Mother’s Day

There is so much joy in motherhood!  Where there is great joy, there is also vulnerability for heartache.  Mother’s Day is often a mixed bag of emotions for women. When I ask my mom clients about Mother’s Day, I often get a big sigh.  These are the most common emotions and experiences I hear from them…

Grief & Loss- Some people have mothers who have passed away and Mother’s Day brings up a new layer of grief as the years pass by.  Some mothers grieve infertility.  Some people did not have a good relationship with their mothers and they grieve for the relationship they wanted.  Some mothers are estranged from their children for different reasons.  Some mothers do not get breakfast in bed, flowers, cards, or gifts.  Some mothers DO get the big show of affection, but don’t feel genuinely loved or supported by their partner.

Shame & Guilt- So many incredible stories about mothers are shared, a lot of women get the message that they are not good enough as those celebrated mothers.  I believe there is no other role in society that is more heavily scrutinized and unsupported as motherhood.  Mothers are judged if their bodies appear post-partum, on career choices, on ways they spend their time on hobbies or rest, on the food they cook or don’t cook, on the cleanliness of their house, and on how their children behave, just to name a few.

When I ask what they would want for Mother’s Day this is what I hear them saying…

“I want a nap and when I wake up the house isn’t destroyed”

“I want my kids not to fight or better yet support in parenting”

“I want to be appreciated EVERY day, not just once a year”

“I want my family to be aware of my likes and dislikes, and choose gifts accordingly”

The best way to show love and support to a mother in your life is to ask them what their needs are, what needs are unmet, and what brings them joy.  Listen, then, take action. It is my greatest wish that every woman feels loved and supported on Mother’s Day and everyday.